Friday, August 3, 2012

In Memory of my Dad, William Anthony Porto

Seems hard to believe that 29 years ago my dad died of cancer. What a difficult time it was. He had a cough that wouldn't go away in November and December. By January 1983, lung cancer was found. Dad was filled with spirit to fight this disease. I remember hearing him so sure he'd beat it and thinking, he's not going to beat this but I'm going to help him try! Our family went to session called, I Can Cope.............funny name for a group that's dealing with something so difficult to cope with. I used to say, I can't cope. but went to the meetings to learn how to help dad through this impossible time in his life. Dad was my age when he got sick...........that's really freaky to think that way. I lived on my own by near dad and mom's. Dad continued the fight but started to go down hill. I remember him asking to have time with each of us. He had a tape recorder going(remember this was 29 years ago) and said special things to each of us although he was hooked up to oxygen and was being tube fed. It was so hard to hear him talk about wonderful memories knowing you'd never make more with him. In a matter of 8 months he succumbed to the cancer, which had spread to his brain, liver and bone marrow. You live in a surreal world when this type of thing happens. My mom and all of my siblings went to the funeral home. With all dad had taken care of, the funeral wasn't one of those things. Imagine walking through the casket showroom...........yes, we were talking about how he loved orange. The funeral director said we could get an orange-lined casket if we wanted.....we had to laugh or we'd cry. When in the vehicle with the cemetery people, they were pointing out places here and there talking about the view, or the shade or the pond..........Really, a view, are you kidding me? Is the view for him or the visitors? We again started to giggle in the back seat so mom couldn't hear us. We laughed to get through that but cried when we had to let him go. What was even sadder was watching my grandfather try to cope with his son's death. He kept saying, it's not natural for your child to die before you die. Dad was the second son of John and Francis Porto. He used to tell wonderful stories about his growing up years. Those stories will always be treasured. Every so often they are retold to my kids so they have a sense of who their grandfather was. He'd have made a great and fantastic grandfather but died before there were any grandchildren. My mom's never been the same. Dad and I would go to breakfast Sunday mornings and spend time catching up on our lives since we lived in different homes. I was a young special education teacher of children with physical disabilities. He'd coach me on things to do for them and suggestions to make to our O.T. and P.T. As you can imagine that didn't go over well. Well, here's a song to close this part of today's entry. What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong in my dad's memory.
Today I did get to therapy and worked hard on the sense taking shower for a 9 a.m. appt. ya know?  I sweat so much I need a towel.  I think it's helping though.
I also made a card today using the same technique from yesterday and added another card for today's challenge of two-step stamping.

I saw this funny thing on FB and had to share it.

Thanks for going down memory road with me today.  I still miss my dad and wonder what it would be like to have had him all my life. I'll just have to be content to see him again in heaven.
Blessing for today: My dad was remembered in a good way with the promise of a reunion.

1 comment:

Susan Carlson said...

Thanks for sharing your story and the lovely cards. The cartoon was funny, too! Remember to drink lots of water in this heat.